belonging in — Finding belonging in grief is a profound journey that many experience, as illustrated in Matthew Philip Long’s debut novella. Titled Life Goes on Without You and Me, the narrative unfolds against the backdrop of Cyprus, where a man returns to his birthplace following the death of his mother. Through his exploration, Long seeks to unearth the essence of his mother and their shared memories, weaving a poignant tale of loss, memory, and identity.
Photo: cyprus-mail.com
Belonging in: Personal Reflections and Diary Entries
Long began writing what would become his novella as a means of coping with his profound grief. “There was never any intention for anyone else to read it,” he shares, seated in the vibrant heart of Nicosia, the city he now calls home. The story originated from diary entries created during his travels to Cyprus after his mother’s death. Armed with a camera and notebooks, he documented his feelings and experiences, attempting to find a tangible connection to his mother through the landscapes she cherished.
Photo: cyprus-mail.com
Growth Through Writing
As Long delved deeper into his writing, he found healing in the act of expression. “This book was about trying to understand my own grief, and also to create a language for it,” he explains. His words resonate with authenticity, shaped by the whirlwind of emotions tied to loss. The rhythm and word choice reflect a deep respect for the topic, making his experience relatable to those who have faced similar heartaches.
A Journey to the Past
Long’s journey back to Cyprus was not merely a physical return but also an emotional pilgrimage. Born in Ayios Nikolaos, Dhekelia, a British military base, his early years were filled with stories of Cyprus shared by his mother. Although he does not have personal memories of living there, her vivid recollections imbued him with a sense of belonging. “I remember so many times when I was younger, rather than reading a bedtime story, she would bring out photo albums,” he recalls, detailing moments from their life in Cyprus. This longing for connection propelled him back to the island.
Searching for Connection Amidst Loss
Initially, Long approached his return as a photo project, hoping to recreate cherished images from his childhood. However, as he began to write, the narrative evolved, leading him to explore deeper themes of memory and belonging. “The more I wrote, the more I found some healing in that form of expression,” he reflects, acknowledging the transformative power of storytelling in navigating grief.
The Complex Nature of Grief
Long’s experience of losing his mother was sudden and overwhelming. “We found out that she was terminally ill, and she died three weeks later,” he shares, highlighting the swift nature of grief. His narrative captures the complexity of mourning not just for a loved one but also for a part of oneself that is irrevocably changed. “It’s also about trying to grieve that part of myself,” he notes, as he comes to terms with the new reality of his life without her.
A Realisation of Self
While Long sought to uncover the traces of his mother’s presence in Cyprus, he ultimately discovered something more profound: a deeper understanding of his own identity. “The end of the book is the realisation that I was desperately clinging to something that doesn’t belong to me, and I needed to let that go,” he explains. His connection to Cyprus, while significant, is intertwined with the broader themes of identity and belonging, reflecting the complexities of his experiences as a British-born individual on the island.
Exploring Colonial Legacy and Identity
The novella also engages with Cyprus’s colonial history, a narrative that shapes Long’s understanding of his place within the island’s landscape. “(British colonial history) became tied to my journey,” he states, as he reflects on how this legacy informs his search for belonging. Through research and personal encounters, he grapples with the realities of being a British individual in a land that has been significantly affected by colonialism.
Embracing Cyprus as Home
Today, Long embraces Nicosia as his home, acknowledging the complexities of his identity. “Before you can make something home, there has to be an internal truth and reconciliation process,” he explains, highlighting the importance of understanding the historical context of his presence on the island. Despite recognising his status as an outsider, he expresses a deep love for Cyprus and the profound experiences it has afforded him.
The Role of Writing in Understanding
As our conversation draws to a close, Long shares his insights on the art of writing as a tool for understanding oneself and the world. “Writing is, or should be, when done honestly, about being a witness,” he asserts. His novella, while deeply personal, serves as a universal exploration of grief and the search for connection, a reflective journey that many can relate to.
Though Long’s narrative follows a man returning to his birthplace after loss, the landscape he encounters is a reflection of his grief. Life Goes on Without You and Me, published by Armida Books, is set to be released on June 26, available on Amazon, local bookstores, and online. The author will also present his work in October, inviting others to join him in this exploration of memory, identity, and the enduring impact of grief.
